Love Starts with You: Nurturing Yourself to Heal and Grow Beyond Unrealistic Expectations
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou
Redefining Love
In Part 1 of this series, I explored the concept that love is a verb—a series of intentional actions, rather than just a fleeting feeling. But before we can love others, we need to nurture ourselves. True love starts with self-love—the foundation for all our relationships. This is the key for creating lasting, authentic love: cultivating a strong relationship with yourself.
But how can reparenting yourself and nurturing your emotional health prepare you for deeper connections? By redefining love as more than just an emotion, we can create relationships that thrive on patience, understanding, and consistency.
The Unrealistic Picture of Love
Movies, advertisements, and social media often depict love as an exciting, magical feeling—something that happens effortlessly. But this unrealistic portrayal creates pressure to constantly be happy and in love, setting us up for disappointment.
True love isn’t about being happy every day. It’s about patience, nurturing, and creating stability within yourself and others. Love is about showing up, not waiting for the right moment or perfect emotions.
The Basics of Loving Yourself
To love others authentically, the foundation is to love yourself. This means understanding that self-love is a process, not a destination. That this process will continue through life and may challenge you. Here’s how to begin nurturing yourself:
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, especially when you make mistakes.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries: Protect your emotional well-being by learning to say no and prioritize yourself.
3. Prioritize Your Needs: Make time for rest, relaxation, and activities that replenish your energy.
4. Practice Mindfulness: Stay in the moment and observe your feelings without judgment.
5. Celebrate Your Strengths: Recognize and appreciate your unique qualities and growth.
Healing and Growing from Within
Part of nurturing yourself is reparenting—becoming the supportive caregiver to your own emotional needs. This process involves healing past wounds and giving yourself the love and care you may not have received before.
By acknowledging past hurts, setting healthy expectations, and creating a safe emotional space, you lay the groundwork for true love to grow. Reparenting is about offering yourself the unconditional love you deserve and learning to take responsibility for your own healing.
Love Starts with You
We already discovered that love is an active choice—something built through intention and consistent action.Additionally, we explored how self-love and reparenting are essential steps in cultivating true love. By nurturing yourself, you create a solid foundation for authentic connections with others.
When you choose to love and care for yourself, you lay the groundwork for deeper, more meaningful relationships. True love doesn’t happen by chance—it’s built on a foundation of self-compassion, patience, and action.
If you missed Part 1 of this series, where we explore how love is a verb, be sure to read it here.
