Your biggest regret won’t be failing—it will be not daring to be yourself.
Life is short. We all know this—and yet, most of us act as if we have unlimited time to finally start living authentically. For years, I didn’t. I hid behind control, perfection, and the belief that adapting to circumstances was the only way to survive. But hiding is not living, and the cost of denying who we are is far higher than facing discomfort.
Why We Hide Ourselves
Psychology shows us that human beings are wired for belonging (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). From childhood on, we learn to adapt: to please, to perform, to become what we think others expect. For me, this adaptation took the form of an eating disorder. Controlling food, weight, and appearance felt like security in an unstable environment. But in truth, it was only a surface illusion.
Research on eating disorders confirms this: they are rarely about food itself. Instead, they are coping mechanisms for deeper emotional imbalances—shame, fear, guilt, or loneliness (American Psychiatric Association, DSM-5). For years, I believed that shaping my body meant shaping my worth. Yet the more I adapted, the further I drifted from myself.
The Real Regret
Recently, I’ve read and listened to people talk about their biggest life regrets. Again and again, one regret stands out: not living authentically. Not being themselves. Not following their dreams because they were too busy following expectations.
The truth is: life isn’t defined by money, success, or appearances. Life is defined by the actions we take every day, the people we let into our orbit, and the conversations we choose to have. Hiding might feel safer—but in the end, the cost is your own identity.
From Control to Creation
Control feels powerful. But it’s also an illusion. My eating disorder was all about control: how much I ate, how much I exercised, how perfectly I appeared. But life taught me the opposite: real strength comes not from control but from creation.
You can’t control what happens in the outside world. You can, however, decide how you respond, what values you live by, and which story you write about yourself. That is where freedom begins.
Authenticity as Daily Practice
Living authentically is not a one-time decision. It’s a practice. Every day, we choose:
- Who we surround ourselves with
- How we speak to ourselves
- Which projects we pursue
- What values guide us
The more we align these choices with who we really are, the lighter life becomes. And when the end comes—because it will—we can face it knowing we lived as ourselves, not as a shadow of expectation.
Closing Thought
I don’t want to waste time anymore. Neither should you. We are not here to perform—we are here to live. Let’s be brave enough to stop hiding and start creating lives that are truly ours.
With care,
Katja – Creator of HOMELESS
